eat my words.

Some Goddamn Microphones

2009-08-22T15:53:34Z

Well, today I was supposed to go to the DIA with Robbie, but because of his injury, obviously it's difficult for him to drive. I'm a little disappointed, but we should be able to go tomorrow.

Yesterday was just chock-full of things.

I woke up and immediately went over to tutor Skyler and Nick - Nick was way behind on the summer studies I had assigned him, so it was a little frustrating. And of course, right after that, I was scheduled to sing at a nursing home my Uncle Ronnie works at. Overall, this was fantastic. An elderly woman walked up to me after singing and asked me when my Uncle was going to purchase some "Goddamn Microphones" for "You Talented Ladies." The day before that, it was off to Kuu's, and later on, I saw District 9 [which was delightful!] with Spence, Lea, Devon, and Neal.

Robbie's face admittedly LOOKS worse and is a bit more painful, but it's getting better. Gradually.

Today, I'm buying all of my college textbooks, and then making myself some cookies and teriyaki-sage salmon. It's pretty much the only "fancy" dish I can actually cook well. I'll be posting the link to my blog the day my college life begins. Until then, I recommend listening to Oren Lavie's "Morning Elegance" because it is good for the soul. I am simply enamored with this song.

The Lyrics, just because they are so Beautiful:

Sun been down for days
A pretty flower in a vase
A slipper by the fireplace
A cello lying in its case

Soon she's down the stairs
Her morning elegance she wears
The sound of water makes her dream
Awoken by a cloud of steam
She pours a daydream in a cup
A spoon of sugar sweetens up

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And She goes...
Nobody knows

Sun been down for days
A winter melody she plays
The thunder makes her contemplate
She hears a noise behind the gate
Perhaps a letter with a dove
Perhaps a stranger she could love

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And She goes...
Nobody knows

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
Where people are pleasently strange
And counting the change
And She goes...
Nobody knows

Redeeming?

2009-04-06T03:55:44Z

So, today was pretty hectic. I spent hours and hours going from store to store [11-4, I think] , asking for breast cancer donations and support for Mr. Avondale [they're tied together, it isn't just random] - it was really tiring, especially since I just started my period and was having ridiculously painful cramps.

Overall, over thirty-five stores were covered today and we were pretty successful.

After that, Robbie and I went to look at kittens for an hour or so. They are all quite adorable, and at the moment, I'm debating between two of them. We ended the day watching old Scales home videos and eating salmon.
Wonderful.

Oh, it's just perfection.

2007-10-14T14:59:52Z

There there baby
It's just text book stuff
It's in the ABC of growing up
Now now darling
Oh don't lose your head
Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you yeah

I miss it. I just wish it was yesterday. I'm going to write a story. I have so many other things to do, but I'm ok with just expressing Liz right now.

I am in a mystical sad mood. I feel so disappointed in a way. I don't know. I'm just sort of wistful. Maybe a little wispy and dreamy. I feel like forgetting, but I just can't. I'm quixotic.

You know what I adore about shopping at the Salvation Army? I love finding value in things that people didn't want. There's always a part of me that is so proud of the fact that I've discovered perfection in what others saw as trash.

I wonder if we're worth a little less when used - or if we love just a little less. Maybe we value the love we possess even more because of our past failures? It would have been so much easier if everything would have worked out the first time, so we probably do value it - but it's a lot more inconvenient. I doubt love is supposed to be convenient though.

Maybe I wonder too much.
Maybe I hate too much.
Maybe I lie too often.

My lies are so nice though. If I told people the truth, it would be a disaster. It would make me a wreck.

I can't forget, so how can I expect others to forget?

Because I desperately want them to.

I think I need some alone time. I had a dream last night that shook me up. Nothing about death or terrible beasts, but continual indecision. I'm always a little worried about showing feeling, especially if it could change things. I'm sure no one enjoys change or exposing themselves to other people, but I'm just afraid of acting as if I'm hurt. I don't mind that I get hurt occasionally, but my greatest fear is that others will see how hurt I am.

El Examen.

2007-10-13T11:46:04Z

Well, I have my test today at around 9:00. It goes until 3:30 pm. I actually like taking tests to an extent. I always have fun with it. The only bit that always eats me up is the math parts. Why am I not a math genius? Anyways, excellent day yesterday with Robbie. I missed him a lot. I had an odd dream last night. Francesca purchased many mice and hamsters, and I had two kittens. One was named Minty (the black one), the other was Enrico (brown and white). It was a very cute dream. I remember one of the kittens was wet and shivery and I cleaned it off with a small towel. I don't know why I'm so giddy about this. I'm not a very sensitive person prone to cooing over babies, but kittens are just - perfect. Anyways, I woke up at 7:00 because I originally thought the test started at 8. It's about ten minutes away from my house, so I shouldn't have a problem with time. I ate eggs this morning and Mum made me take some omega 3 fatty acids because it will apparently "feed my brain" which reminded me of a quote from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. I have everything ready for the test - I am wearing loose black sweat pants and my Crucible sweatshirt. A lens from my glasses fell out. We are purchasing a new pair of reading glasses before I leave, thank God. I have my hair up in a messy ponytail, which is starting to irritate me. I hope the reading test is first, that's always a nice way to start off the morning. I'm sure the math section will be second. I have terrible allergies this morning. I continuously blow my nose. I really hope they won't think I'm cheating and have all the answers written on the tissue. That would be clever. If they weren't covered in muck by the end of the test. I wanted to take a Claritin, but it always makes me very sleepy. I looked over - well, I glanced at my ACT practice test booklet - the math section, mostly. My highest scores on the PLAN were in science - reading and writing were about the same - and then math was my lowest score. Overall, I received a score in the mid/high 20s, so I'm ok with that. Well well well. I'm all ready to run off to Meijers - I think I'll brush my teeth again. I popped a few jelly beans into my mouth, and now I can feel the sugar coating on my teeth. After this ordeal, I'll go home, take a shower, and then invite the Robbie Bobby over and maybe see a movie if we have time.

_________________________________________________________________________________

later (at 5:30): Very irritated. Test was irritating. The woman who spoke to us reminded me of an old turtle - her voice was absolutely disgusting and crackly. She had these long pauses in between each word. She had difficulty reading particularly long words as well. She was intelligent, but irritating - and frightening in an odd way. I kept eating during the points when we were taking the practice test. Instead of listening to various explanations for each question, I skipped ahead and did all of the reading/comprehension sections. I finished and had a half hour with nothing to do but play games on my neighbor's graphing calculator. I currently have my Mother's sister Liz over and they're watching "Walk The Line" - a mediocre film, if I do say so myself. I really hate the voice of Johnny Cash - or anyone that attempts to sound like him. He sounds old and husky.

God, I'm feeling particularly critical. I believe it's because lately I haven't made an excessive amount of snide comments. I've been holding it in, venting to no one and feeling good about it. The practice tests made me feel somewhat satisfied. I did well.

I have glasses.

2007-10-12T20:47:30Z

So, Mrs. Brown emailed me - I have a 93 percent on my chemistry test - yay! the only thing that was difficult during the test was the periodic table. I could barely see anything. So yah. I had to hold it up to my nose and squint. I'm sure people noticed this. So, as I was in the car, being driven home from school, I told my Mother I needed teh glasses. She agreed this was a good idea. Now I have this wonderful small pair of reading glasses. I look quite adorable. Robbie should be home later tonight. I do have a practice ACT to do though ... augh. I don't need this right now.

Just a random note - everyone should listen to the song I am currently listening this. I saw it in "Flashdance" and was completely inspired. Another good one is Lifesize - A Fine Frenzy. I feel frantic. Dunno why. Maybe this is a small trace of happiness? Ugh. Still so confused about certain things that should upset me, but that I just like to forget about.

AAAAUUUUUGH. lemme rant.

2007-10-10T20:59:37Z

OK. So ... currently - all As - except for that stupid Algebra 2 class - I hate that class with a passion, I swear. It's so frustrating. I hate that I need to (I'm sorry if this sounds silly) truly devote time into the class. I HATE IT AND I NEED TO BRING MY FUCKING GRADE UP TO AT LEAST AN A-. Y'know, I think Robbie was right. I'm never satisfied with the grades I receive. I just end up feeling unhappy and don't really feel like I've accomplished much. If I have an A- my mind will constantly let me know that I could raise it up ... augh.

I HATEHDFJHDSHJKDFJHDGJDHUGJDHKFGJDHGDJHGDJKGS so much.

I don't know. I'm just so frustrated with that class. I had 100 percent on my quiz yesterday - but the test. augh. fuckityfuckfuck. I'm so unhappy.

anyways. I'm eating pasta. I made it. Not too shabby. I had a donut earlier. It was nice. I cannot wait until the weekend. Well ... besides the practice ACT - Robbie is really what I can't wait for. I've missed him. We haven't seen each other in over a month. teh.
__________________________________________________________________________________

later: too much time to think think think. Homework is done. I'm just - really sad.
For a few reasons. I don't - well, I do know why. I'm just so angry and confused at the same time. I just feel like running and crying and a lot of other negative things that involve too much negative energy on my part. I'm not trying to be "whiny" I just really feel mad about particular things that I keep bottled up.

Maybe Evan was right. I do hate too much.

an interesting day

2007-10-05T00:44:25Z

I was ill.

I AM A MAD LIZ.

2007-10-02T22:52:05Z

I am very upset.

I hope I won't do anything too brash.

I also am very busy.

Drown myself in work and maybe I'll have time to cool down - then again, I've had four hours to "cool down" and nothing has happened quite yet.

Godammit.

I'm pissed.

I hate that feeling one has when one reflects upon a particular moment. It's like this little sharp pain that makes your whole body hurt. I really don't like to talk about these sorts of things with friends, which is a-ok. I like the privacy.
Anyways, I finished all of my work and more - I finished a sign in/out sheet for theatre and the SADD poster design AND 3 creative looking thank-you notes + chemistry, spanish worksheet, math homework, current event, 2nd packet and speech outline. I feel thuper, despite the rage. And I meant to type "thuper", thank you very much.

I might be having a mole - making party this weekend. I know. LAME. yes. yes it is.

Today was ok.

2007-10-02T03:06:41Z

I'm alright. I understand everything I am learning in school and life is ok. I miss Robbie, as always. I haven't seen him in 3 weeks, which is probably that longest I've been away from him since we've started going out. It's very difficult, even though we are excellent communicators and call each other every day. I truly miss him. Friend-wise I'm fine. Leadership-wise, excellent. Theatre has been fascinating this year, what with the new makeup of the company. The attitude has greatly changed - the seniors are gone and it's our turn to make the ATC ours. Theatre is -in my opinion the only organization where the attitudes and ideas differ drastically from year to year. Leadership is pretty much the same. A few personalities stand out - one in particular being Gary - excellent sense of humor, very kind, and very sarcastic. A pleasant addition to the class. We desperately needed some good old fashioned snarky personalities without adding any more assholes to Leadership. I arrived in school at 6:00 am. Ridiculous. No donuts to greet my early arrival either. Poor poor Liz.
I had to study after school for a bit, went to theatre, called Robbie Bobby and then I finished my homework.

Deary dear, am I tired.

Well Well Well

2007-09-29T01:51:59Z

I was in a parade. I was stressed stressed stressed and now I'm just a tad bit unhappy. I wish I was a bit more cheery - it's the end of homecoming week, I have a lot to look forward to - eh. I'm very bothered. A little tired. I just really don't know what to sort out right now. I have a lot to do tomorrow and I can temporarily forget about this.

My Head Hurts

2007-09-24T20:38:34Z

Well, it does. I feel very good right now. I only have a wee bit of AP Gov and a little studying - and I am excellent. Of course, I have to be at Powderpuff tonight. I hate that name. It makes me cringe. I automatically imagine cotton candy and giggles. Not sweaty teens prancing around on a field. Oh dear, I hate sports with a passion. I might buy a homecoming dress - or I might wear my prom dress. Either way, I'll be fine. I'd post a picture of my dress, but I decided against it. Basically, it is rather puffy and bright blue. It's plain and I enjoyed wearing it. My head still hurts. I realize how often I've been posting since school began. A lot. I'm currently listening to a very cheesy and sad song. I'd normally prefer techno at times like these, but I decided against it. I need to be calmer. As Father and I were driving to school, he briefly brought up the topic of "stress" - telling me I need to chill out. I nodded my head in agreement, because I completely understand I need to be at least a little less stressed. This year has been very stressful, but very nice. I have very solid fantastic grades in all of my classes, and socially I am swell. I love theatre and I received a great part, I have great friends, a LOVELY boyfriend, and I am involved in school while still having a small amount of Liz-time. I'm becoming much better at managing my life - I can attribute this to my school and life goals, mainly. I tried to reach high with my goals for this year, making them almost unattainable. It's a bit rough. Ah well. Liz loves a challenge. But, Liz hates headaches. Oh, she hates them.

Back to AP Gov.

Why I currently do not like poetry club.

2007-09-21T22:08:37Z

1. It makes me feel like a terrible person. I am probably the most aggressive person there. And the loudest. And possibly the only realist who does not find solace in world peace. Because it's unrealistic.

2. People irritate me. God, they're so friggin' cheerful. Let's talk about hate a death for a while, eh? Even when they were talking about drugs they giggled.

3. I am far too sarcastic around them. I'll laugh at something I find funny, and I realize they were completely serious. It happened a few times. I felt awful when I left, realizing that when I criticized people, they were too shy to even speak back.

I did receive gummy worms and chocolate for the excruciating mental pain I experienced.

atrenchantcoat @ 2007-09-20T20:25:00

2007-09-21T00:43:06Z

In dismay, I softly chided
All the words that I confided
Each small syllable
Played back
Causes me to feel the guilt

And I feel so ineffective
Pain arrives while being reflective
Oh God,
I'm afraid because I believe
That the soul will surely wilt
________________________________

And when my soul arrives in hell
It's not the only thing I'll sell
I'll tell the devil he can buy
My experiences for a price

Knowing my life was a total waste
He'll only need to have a taste
Before spitting it out and saying
"Oh, you weren't very nice."

Definitely changed tones. Anyways, I don't know why I typed this. I'm a strange person. And I HATE LIZ SILVERMAN WITH A PASSION. What a complete bitch.

I loved this - I thought it was a frightening picture:

I'm so upset right now. I feel like typing and ranting, but I can't. I'm tired and my judgment is a little warped and I'm just not ok right now. I apparently also enjoy run-ons while upset. Ugh. It makes me cringe. I am an angry young lady.

atrenchantcoat @ 2007-09-16T12:40:00

2007-09-16T17:05:00Z

The minute you let her under your skin
You begin to make it better

I've been wanting to see the film "Across the Universe" for quite some time. Just watching the beautiful trailers makes me giddy. I've always liked music quite a bit - I'm not one of those people who claim their whole world revolves around music - I always thought that was a little bit sad. It's like saying your whole life is based on a series of sound. Then again, my life is based on scribbles. Perhaps I'm the more pathetic of the two.

Anyways, today is sure to be somewhat melancholy. He goes back to college today, and it's always upsetting in some way.

Yesterday I visited Grandma, and she ended up giving our family the majority of items from her fridge. She continually gave me cynical advice about life, some of which I think is wise -
though some, of course, is nonsense. My Grandma Bommarito can be very wonderful when she's cordial and polite. She has a collection of dolls from all over the world and has several rooms devoted entirely to doll display. Some are not particularly good looking. The one time I slept over her home, I had to go to the restroom in the middle of the night, passing by a doll room. It was an experience that still haunts me today. I wake up sweating, thinking about the beady little glass eyes glaring at me from their boxes and stands.

Just kidding though. I mean, it creeped the hell out of me, but not that badly.

I finished the AP Gov homework last night, and I'm basically all set. I must review a bit more later on in the week, but I should be ok.

I'm a little bit angry right now. hm.

Complete Utter Honesty.

2007-09-16T07:53:08Z

The artist waved her magical pencil and the shapes appeared on paper, shifting, moving and - they were dancing with each flick of her wrist. She wasn't really a writer, she discovered - but a magician - she stared at the half - formed objects that slithered onto the pages, sliding into the creases and curling around the edges. Some of them spoke to her in radiant voices. This was her prophecy. These were her children. Like babies, she carried the shapes into her arms, all jumbled up, moving around, restless, as if they desperately has somewhere to be.
"Dears, I've got you."
Some objects leaped out of her arms and skipped around her glowing body. She was celestial, engrossing the adoration that surrounded her being.
Some letters formed a layer on her until she was entirely made of graphite and ink.
The artist hugged herself, because now she adored her body. She was one with her art and she was madly in love with her own skin.
She rolled on the ground, spreading her collected thoughts everywhere, words appearing in the room by a blink of the eye - a nod of her head. She seemed to be running out of something to write with - slowly she was dissolving.
"But that's alright," she said.
She knew everyone runs out of ink someday.
And then she disappeared forever - because everyone must.
There were only the words she had left in the room.

And that is when the creator becomes a god.

Oh deary dear.

2007-09-12T20:39:16Z

AP Government stuff is threatening to eat me alive. I have a meeting at 6:30 - I stayed after school for an hour. Lotsa hw. Better get on that.

I ran the mile today, my time was 8:39 - not bad. It was about 7:40 this summer though - Liz has gotten lazy. I have had terrible allergies all day. ick.

BusyBusyBusy

2007-09-11T00:25:45Z

Well, Liz has learned an important lesson - always take advantage of the weekends. I should've looked over my paper for the "un minuto." Already, my week is significantly ... lacking. Today was rather lackluster, and I felt a little out of it. I'll blame my confused state on hay fever, as that is the only reasonable explanation I can come up with. I took a nap when I got home from school today - and I never take naps. It was ridiculous. I took a shower, did two problems for math and then just slumped in my bed, waking at 7:00. Luckily, I finished my math worksheet, studied for spanish, did leadership stuff, rewrote my AP Gov Notes and spent a considerable amount of time worrying about my future.

GPA - UP UP AND AWAY.

I should be shot for typing that.

Anyways, so far I seem to be keeping on task very well.

I'm trying to fit my reading in - I realize how many books I read last year during the school year (a lot) and notice the great difference. I haven't even read one book this past week. I am ashamed. I am also ashamed that I like Britney Spears. I've been humming "Gimme More" for the duration of today. I am also working on a special theatre project I am very proud of.

And I'm searching. Still.

2007-09-09T21:48:40Z

Sometimes, it's rather tedious to write in this livejournal. Putting one's thoughts on display isn't always a very comforting thing. It's certainly not very Liz-like, and it's taken a while to accept that this is made public. These are genuine Liz-thoughts being exposed. I think I look very pretty today. I know, I sound conceited, but I woke up today, glanced in the mirror and realized I looked radiant. Perhaps it's the extra sleep I've gotten over the weekend - maybe it's the fact that having many things to do keeps me going. I've even considered that it was an after-effect of purchasing so many books. Speaking of books, I bought another 21 books today. I know, I know, I always go a little overboard - but, those 21 books only cost me five dollars total. They were all in mint condition.

I bought:

1. Girl With a Pearl Earring (Heard it was a good read)
2. The Subtle Knife (I read "The Golden Compass and found it interesting)
3. Labyrinth (It seemed to receive good reviews)
4. We Were the Mulvaneys (Joyce Carol Oates is a genius.)
5. Schindler's List (Because I felt ashamed I had only seen the film)
6. Paradise Lost (Any good poet needs to read it)
7. Charming Billy (I liked the cover)
8. Madame Bovary (I've wanted to read this risque novel for ages - finally I have it)
9. A Tale of Two Cities (A classic I did not own)
10. Masterpieces in the Louvre (Splendid pictures - I couldn't help myself)
11. Dictionary of the Arts (Again, something I wanted)
12. The Warrior Queens (I was so excited upon finding this - I've already begun to read it - so many strong female role models. Lovely. Well written, too.)
13. In the Memory of the Forest (Looked neat)
14. Selected Writings of Thomas Paine (Thought I might as well get it)
15. Collected writings of Cervantes (I've always wanted to read Don Quixote)
16. Memoirs of a Geisha (It was recommended so often, I needed it.)
17. The Divine Comedy Part 1 ( I've always wanted to read this, so I didn't pass up the opportunity)
18. Love Walked In (A well-reviewed novel - and a guilty pleasure.)
19. The Eyre Affair (One book in a trilogy. I happen to have read the second book already. Nicely written.)
20. Forrest Gump (Loved the movie, wanted to read the book.)

I bought a book for someone as well, but that will remain a secret. Anyways, I've started on "The Red Tent" - a really fantastic book based on biblical events. Obviously - for those who know exactly what "the red tent" traditionally was, it's a book aimed at a female audience. The writing is very simple, but the characters are very complex and the situations have such peculiar details mentioned I can't help but love it. I also began reading the Warrior Queens - I felt empowered. heh. This whole day, despite feeling pretty (*resists bursting into tacky showtune*) I have been experiencing extreme lethargy. I read the newspaper and ate an asiago bagel after getting back from the book sale. However, it failed to perk me up and on the ride to the electronics store I nearly fell asleep in the car. At the store, I only peered at dvds - realizing how much I loved a particular movie. I saw the film "Love Actually" nearly a year ago when it was on demand and when my parents were not home - (same story with Brokeback Mountain - that movie was dissappointing) I adored the film and encouraged my parents to watch it. Despite very obvious liberal undertones, the movie was uplifting and was not "tacky" in the least. I confess, aside from "Shakespeare in Love" I'm not a huge fan of romance, but this was one of the few I actually enjoyed. I was mildly upset by the fact that I didn't see "The Office: Season 3" on sale. Eh. Eventually I'll get it.

It's a little sad to see the summer end so quickly. I don't mind school as much as I thought I would - it leaves me with a purpose, I suppose. I don't have much to do for the rest of today - I have to:
- choose the other 2 objects in the paper bag
-study for the spanish test on friday
- look over the essay BY Thomas Paine - I already read it, but skimming over it another time certainly wouldn't hurt.

The only thing that currently bothers me is the fact that I don't feel very inspired. I am completely boring today. Thank God only two people called me, or I would have caused people unnecessary dull conversation. Just kidding. All of my conversations are gripping and unbelievably exciting. I'm never boring. Anyways, continuing on a more serious note - I don't feel inspired - perhaps I should resort to reading the book of goddess incantations and lighting my success candle? I don't know if I am that desperate. I ate icecream in hopes that it would renew my need for constant creativity. Damn you, dairy products. You have failed me for the last time.

THE LAST UNICORN

2007-09-08T23:48:41Z

Ok, so I hope SOMEONE recalls the brilliant anime that was "The Last Unicorn." It had that fantastic, uplifting, tragic theme song that always made me want to burst into tears. I adored the main character ever since I was little - I was amazed at the brilliant ending - the seemingly flawless character was unable to love - her one flaw. God, that makes me want to sing.

Christ, I had no idea they made a techno version of this song.

Anyways, I was at book sales for the majority of the day - I purchased twelve books.

1. The Red Tent (I read about this in a random book review I came across and was immediately interested. I was sad to find the Troy library didn't carry it.)
2. Rebecca (I saw the old movie starring Lawrence Olivier - one of my favorite actors - and immediately fell in love with it. I figured, why not read the book?)
3. The Memory Keeper's Daughter (Recommended by a friend)
4. White Oleander (Apparently, this was a very popular read at one time - I know it is a movie as well. I saw the commercials and thought it looked intriguing.)
5. A Million Little Pieces (A story about someone who has to go to rehab. Nice looking cover. Need I say more?)
6. Grendel (OK, I'm a nerd. Yay for the monster from Beowulf.)
7. The Old Man and the Sea (It's a well known classic. I was ashamed I hadn't read it yet.)
8. Beaowulf and other english poems ( The most interesting poem - originally untitled, no known author, the poem that set precedents for english poems to come - why shouldn't I read it?)
9. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (Crazy people. Woo!)
10. The Mermaid Chair (A free book I randomly chose - critically acclaimed, looks good)
11. Angela's Ashes (Pulitzer)
12. The Ideas and Wisdom of Plato (Because I need even more philosophy in my life.)

Tomorrow I shall go back for bag day! (You fill a bag with as many books as you possibly can - the whole bag is five dollars.) I am excited. I finished all of my homework and am now off to a bonfire. MUY BIEN!

Another Day, Another Disaster

2007-08-26T23:38:19Z

Today did not start off well. Mother was in a terrible mood and Fran was a bit upset as well. One trait my family shares is that we all have terrible tempers. Eventually, I was supposed to see a play, but Mother got lost on the way there. I then went home and read for about an hour. I then watched Hot Fuzz and am now about to read "Phaedra." I am genuinely excited. YAY!

Plump Little Bees

2007-08-25T18:25:14Z

I don't care for this time of year - my schedule is overwhelming and I begin to hate the prospect of the beginning of school, especially this year - as I've typed in earlier posts.

I am currently walking around the house in "grubbies" (Mum's word, not mine)- I've just been thinking this morning. I can't candidly say that I'm unhappy. I'm a pessimist at heart, but I also must face the truth at times. I have a very nice life - my parents and I get along for the most part, I have a delectable boyfriend, I receive splendid grades, I have the most amazing bunch of friends, and I'm involved in school. I need to stop complaining, but then again, when have I ever chosen the unselfish path?

I am currently attempting to write a fantasy novel about a lovely boy names "Kamil" who lives alone in a forlorn apartment. He is completely perfect - he enjoys putting together jigsaw puzzles and creates crosswords for the local newspaper. During one particular experience with a special jigsaw puzzle and the recurring dreams that follow, he decides he must change his life. He decides he wants to fall in love. He's very shy and doesn't like to talk to people. He hasn't been out of his apartment in years and finally walks outside, meeting a girl who delivers the newspaper named "Ismene" who believes she is able to control the universe. When he's walking around the streets at night for the very first time he sees the image from his recurring dream (a pair of hands) and follows the hands (that are, of course, attached to a person) After he fails to find them, he decides he must kill himself, because, he always tries to achieve perfection - which is obviously unrealistic, and he will never love anything. He hits the ground and realizes he isn't in his own city, but instead, he's ... somewhere else.

So far, that's the plot. There are a lot of really strange bits in the book. For instance, Kamil had been amazed that there was a bee nest near his mailbox, which Ismene complained about. When he hits the ground and is introduced to a strange little girl she introduces him to a delicacy.

"And what are these?" he asked, puzzled.
"Take the blanket off," she giggled, holding the covered plate up to his face.
He stared at her cherubic look, intrigued by her obvious effrontery.
"Don't be afraid. They're delicious."
She peeked under the cover and a loud buzzing sound resonated around the perfect man and the strangest girl. She quickly put the cover on once more and immediately the unusual noise ceased.
"They'll get angry if you don't eat them soon."
"Tell them ... I'm sorry," Kamil explained bashfully. "I don't mean to be impolite, I'm just not very hungry."
The girl's cheeks turned red and she glared at him, a wintry look that left poor Kamil frightened - and suddenly, starving.
"Perhaps I'll try one."
"Good," she grinned. "Now uncover them. They'll get impatient."
He slid his hand over the pale blue cloth and felt dozens of tiny, moving bumps underneath. With a flick of the wrist, he tossed off the cloth and found many small bees walking around the plate.
"They're bees."
"Of course."
"But ... I don't like to eat bees."
"That's ridiculous, especially if the bees want you to eat them," said the girl, and with that, popped a plump little bee into her mouth.

That was rather fun to write.

Songs that remind me of the mood of the book:

"Let Go" by Frou Frou***
"Just Impolite" by Plushgun*
"Short Stacks" by The Ditty Bops
"Swan Lake" by Tchaikovsky*

All good songs too.

My Mother is making lasagna right now, and our house smells like herbs and comfort. Comfort has a smell, I assure you. I thought my Father was home because I heard the sound of keys clanking together. Despite liking the company of my parents, I always hate that sound. I also don't like the sound of doorbells. They sound very empty and sad. Again, ring the doorbell all you want, I just don't care for the sound.

My Finest Moments

2007-08-14T17:07:37Z

“In my finest moment, when all of my fantastic dreams have come true...I will be utterly and completely alone.”
- Jade Esteban

Well, I'm ... ok. I'm alright, as I always will be. I was angry about some things, so I wrote a lot this morning. I cleaned my room, and made up a neat little theatre notebook. I had a dream that I was back in school, getting everything done. I kept reciting the list of presidents in my dream, though I kept screwing up around the 15th, (when normally, I can go to the 30th without any trouble) I was in a different room - it looked like a dorm, and everything was dark. The dorm just looked like my current bedroom, but rearranged. I believe it was raining outside. I remember a gym in my dream as well. I really can't wait until college. I just have to decide between U of M and MSU. Both are great colleges, and I happen to know that the law program at U of M is superb. Either way, I suppose I'll be content. I just need to get prepared for a theatre meeting now. I have a lot of the documents set up - I'm trying not to be too organized in the manner of class board meetings (I dread them)I'm just hanging around, a little melancholy. I hate that I can't control my own life.

The head of a pig

2007-08-12T15:54:15Z

Yesterday was not extremely pleasant by any means whatsoever. After I had gone to a performance of Sarah Scales' I headed home and began to watch Scary Movie 3 - very stupid, very raunchy, very un-Lizlike, but still - very funny. Suddenly, I hear the shrill ring of the doorbell. It was around 10:30, and I was a bit uncomfortable.
"I'll get it," my Father said, and I followed him.
He opened the door as I stood behind him.
"What is it?" I asked, seeing there was no one there.
"It's a ... pig's head."
"What?"
Fran raced over, and saw the head of the pig, blood pooling around it, on a metal tray. Immediately she began to go into hysterics.
"They killed it! They killed it!"
I was very creeped out. I felt like Simon from the Lord of the Flies, my evil placed before me in that cool metal seat.
"It's just rubber, Franny, don't worry." I calmed her down, which took quite a while, and lied very nicely, because we believe it was real.
My Father and Fran drove around only to discover that there was a large party going on near our house which included roasting, drinking, and loud music. We figure it was someone from the party who had just wanted to do something random and incredibly stupid. I found that the self-proclaimed prankster of the school had been up north at the time, so I figured it was not them. I don't know anyone else who would do something that childish and rude, so we blamed it on one of Fran's buddies. I am now feeling very sick ... my head hurts, I feel dizzy ... I haven't been feeling well lately.
___________________________________________________________________________
Later:

I've been lounging around the house a bit because of my illness. I began unloading some stuff my Father had collected from my Grandparent's home we are currently trying to sell. It was very interesting. We found many old photos - including some of my Grandfather as a child, which was amusing. I've been surrounding myself with the dusty pictures. I rescued four glass fish from the home because they didn't sell. I put them in my room. My Grandmother used to keep them above the kitchen sink. I always remember wanting those fish someday. Heh. Well, you got your wish Liz.

And now, for some Sleuth quotes. Sleuth happens to be a favorite film of mine. It was made in 1972 and is simply fantastic.

Milo Tindle: Alright, I'll do it. Where do you want me to break in?
Andrew Wyke: Not so fast. You've got to get disguised first.
Milo Tindle: What for?
Andrew Wyke: Suppose somebody saw you coming.
Milo Tindle: Here? In the middle of nowhere? I could hardly find this place with a bloody map!
Andrew Wyke: You never know. A dallying couple, a passing sheep-rapist.

Andrew Wyke: For Christ sake Milo, they couldn't have made more noise on D-Day.
Milo Tindle: The bloody glass came out, my bloody boot got stuck and I fell down the bloody ladder.
Andrew Wyke: Well the bloody police must have heard it all the way to bloody Salisbury.
Milo Tindle: I'm sorry.

1-800-784-2433

2007-08-11T15:46:07Z

I've always wanted to call the suicide hotline just because. I wonder if, when a teen calls, they have to transfer them to speak with other teens - or if they at least have that choice. I think that would be the perfect job ... unless, of course, you happen to be watching television and see that the person you were supposed to save still killed themselves. I think I'd eventually get over it. The only thing I'd have a problem with, is listening. I'd end up chatting about myself. I think it's meant for the "listening" types. Ugh. I'm sure you run across a lot of interesting people though. I wonder how much you get paid. I wonder, if you don't save someone, would they dock your pay? I think it would be a cool job, despite the risks. I had a very nice day yesterday, one of my best - even though I had a class board meeting. The techno is currently helping out my normally dreary mood. My Mother has been painting the kitchen these past few days. My whole family has been ok this week, we've all been cordial and basically shown that we love each other by playing Boggle, air hockey, Scrabble, and of course, pool. My Mother will sense an awkward silence, and then propose the game. It's funny. I've been riding my bicycle a lot lately as well - well, technically my Mother's. Mine currently has a deflated tire and now, my Mother's has a flat tire. My Father confirmed this when picking me up from Robbie's, seeing the bicycle and riding it around while yelling. My parents are a wee bit eccentric. I had an odd dream last night. I dreamed that I was with Allison and it was her birthday ... we had it at this really large dark room, and she had all of her friends there. I walked out and I saw that one of the characters from Dexter (fantastic show!) was in the ocean. I saved him and we swam and I saw sharks underwater. The whole time we were both screaming "Oh shit, Oh shit, we're gonna die!" I also made sarcastic comments.
"So, Lieutenant, how'ja get stuck in this awful mess?"
"Just keep swimming Liz, save the smart-ass comments for later, when we don't have sharks on our tail"
Eventually, we got back to the party ... but there was only one piece of the really nice cake left. There was another cake which looked ok ... I ate some of it, but i was still hungry.
"So, Lizzy, where were you?" Mrs. Megroet inquired.
" Just saving an officer m'am."
For some reason, the cake had some odd vegetable in it ...
"Allison included some celery," Mrs. Megroet explained.
For some reason, I believe two of my friends' parties were going on, and I was very confused as to whom the other person was - Aubrey Quinlan, I think, although she might've just attended Allison's party. Odd, I didn't actually see Allison. I remember seeing her sister though, as she told me not to eat the last piece of the purple-frosted cake. I was upset.

A Rainy Day

2007-08-07T15:54:48Z

So far, today has been nice. Then again, I just woke up at 10:00 am and it's only 11:13 right now. I immediately began reading "It's Kind of A Funny Story" and I then ate a lot of icecream. I'm still in my pajamas. I sat outside for a while, reading and chomping on a delicious ice cream cone. It was very nice, being surrounding by the calming chaos that is a summer sprinkle. I'm still feeling very odd, like something important is ending in the life of Liz. I've been guessing all day. I'm starting to think maybe I like stress, I mean, why else would I like to get into squabbles and debates? I enjoy having things to do, otherwise, I feel useless. I like doing things I hate because I feel like I've accomplished something noble. I purchased an ACT practice guide a while ago. After Robbie leaves for college I plan on starting it. I'm taking a practice test in October. I'm a little nervous. I've always tested well, but I'd hate to have a score to judge myself by. It makes me a little depressed, like I'd suddenly be aware of my limits in those digits. I've tried to motivate myself this summer. When school starts I will be able to actively tackle my GPA. I will admit it, it lowered sophomore year ... I'm easily distracted, what can I say? One rather bleak thing I'm completely aware of is the fact that I will never be happier than I was sophomore year. I had everything I wanted in reach. I've had an ok summer, although I've never been more despondent starting school. I look at my sad schedule these next few weeks, and it makes me want to cry. I have so much going on, and so many things I want to do. Maybe this is how everyone feels? I've always been happy starting school. It's an exciting feeling, going in on the first day, expecting everything wonderful to happen this year. Maybe I've never been normal until now. I had never understood why one wouldn't want to start school. I had never understood why one would want to be attached to someone. I never understood anything I'm sure any normal teenager would want. This was definitely a year of ultimate realization. On a lighter note, there is a comedian I happen to love whose name I forgot. He's very vulgar and rude ... and very funny. Also, he's semi-attractive.
I thought that was a rarity in itself - most comedians are ugly. I also don't find them as funny as good-looking comedians, mostly because they can't insult unattractive people. It would be sad, if anything. I'm really upset that I can't remember his name. I'm tempted to go to extreme lengths to recall this man. I finally found him - Daniel Tosh. Hilarious. One of the few comedians I find hilarious. You should all know and love that man.